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Where I'm at Now

by S. Raekwon

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      $7 USD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Father/Daughter exclusive color. Limited to 500 units. Includes full color 12" x 24" insert with lyrics. LP orders come with a limited edition print (while supplies last).

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      $22 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    4 panel digipak includes 12 page, full color, lyric booklet.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Where I'm at Now via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Clear with black liner cassette. Includes download card.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Where I'm at Now via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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    Purchasable with gift card

      $9 USD or more 

     

1.
Darling 03:01
I wanna be wrapped in your shape I wanna be held in your arms And if you say that it’s changed Just know that I’ll rearrange for you I wanna fall deep in your ways I wanna wash under your waves And if it all falls away I’ll still be held in your shape I wanna be holed up with you I wanna be wrinkled as two And even if it’s a phase I’ll always be in your shape I wanna fall deep in your ways I wanna wash under your waves And when it all drifts away I’ll still be held in your shape
2.
I just hope you the feel the same If you do I’m yours to take (I was yours to take) Cause I don’t know another way Got a whole lotta feelings now That I been thinking bout That I been holding down That I could live without So call me by a different name Cause lately it don’t sound the same But I don’t know another way To feel it now To hold it down My skin I’ll cut it open For every inch of you And there’d be no more hiding Can I confide in you? With all that we have been through There’s still so much to get through Got a whole lotta feelings now That I been thinking bout That I been holding down That I could live without Cause I just hope you the feel the same Yea I just hope you the feel the same My skin I’ll cut it open For every inch of you And there’d be no more hiding Can I confide in you? With all that we have been through There’s still so much to get through
3.
When we were kissing Behind your house We were so young then We called it love then Under the weight of First time for everything We were so young then We called it love then Collecting change for the games we’d play And it’s house money And it was heartbreaking Way the days would break on me And I would break out in the worst way And I would stay in just to stay away Staying up late That’s good love making Another shot taking Is your heart racing? Mine is for the taking And if things could be different What would be the difference? You got me thinking Got me feeling different And now my head is spinning Man that shit hit different Windows up, baking Ye’s old mixtape got the car shaking Kissing in the driveway That’s the way it was Replay it in my head Is it really love? And if this shit for real Then what would make it real? Maybe I’m just tripping This will be gone in a minute But this shit still got me thinking Is it really love? Is it really love? When we were kissing Behind your house We were so young then We called it love then Under the weight of First time for everything We were so young then We called it love then We called it love then We called it love then We called it love then We called it love then (I wanna call it love) Loving with you Loving with you Loving with you It’s all I wanna do
4.
Anywhere 4 U 02:46
Got a lotta things to say that’s on my mind And I don’t wanna waste no time with you Can I get permission now to speak my mind? And is that really where I’m at with you? Why you keep it all held up inside boy? Can’t you tell that your still on my mind? Why you keep it all held up inside? Yea It’s on my mind Yea But I’ll be fine Cause baby tell me where I stand with you Cause I be standing there I’ll go anywhere Know that we got lots of things to do Not even halfway there But know that I’ll be there For you Gotta get your Gotta get your Gotta get your mind right Know that I’ll go anywhere for you You would hold it down on me for real Baby this ain’t nothing new Even when I’m feeling low you there And you be there for real So why you keep it all help up inside boy? (Can you be there for me? And can you hold it down?) Can’t you tell that you’re still on my mind? (Don’t you know that you’re still on my mind?) But why you keep all held up inside? Yea It’s on my mind Yea But I’ll be fine Cause baby tell me where I stand with you Cause I be standing there I’ll go anywhere Know that we got lots of things to do Not even halfway there But know that I’ll be there And every second counts when I’m with you Not even halfway there But know that I’ll be there And even in the toughest times with you I’ll be standing there I’ll go anywhere For you Gotta get your Gotta get your Gotta get your mind right Know that I’ll go anywhere for you
5.
It’s no thing I can move on to something new I can move on it’s nothing new I can move on
6.
T.D.T.K.A. 03:59
It could’ve been me It’s not that we don’t look so far apart And we’re different shades of brown But honestly they’d see us both the same And I’m still here to think those thoughts away Hope this shit don’t stay the same Let’s not forget to pray And dance and sing and wish this shit away Hope to see another day Just long enough to see them put away I hope and pray that they don’t look away Hope this shit don’t stay the same It’s just another day But somehow my reality has made it such that I can stay away And choose to tune in and fade it away What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? Cause if we all the same How come some of us got to pray to stay alive? And if things gonna change Will we still have to pray to stay alive? Now I’m clinching my breath Wondering if I should speak up And just make a mess of all the pieces we’ve arranged Or should I tell you about the guilt that I’ve been feeling? I’m just so tired of this sad history repeating And more about that guilt Maybe I should have spoken out and raised my voice I feel responsible for it But then again I’m just a man And before then just a black boy trynna fit in Don’t get me started on the places I have been But still it doesn’t hold a light to where you’ve been And I’m so tired of constantly looking in But I just wanna feel comfortable in my skin I just wanna feel okay in my own skin Cause if we all the same How come some of us got to pray to stay alive? And if things gonna change Will we still have to pray to stay alive?
7.
When I feel your loving Showering like rain Climbing like a mountain And it’s all that remains When the party's over When I’ve lost my way When I don’t feel like dancing You still take me away And the way it moves Through your body to me Are you still fucking with me? The way you used to do? But don’t be playing with me Unless you been lucky lately It’s just a feeling baby It’s just what we’ re supposed to do
8.
Forever 02:48
When I said I need you I meant I always will Can you see forever? Can you feel it still? Does it slow from growing? Does it rush to speed? Can you hear it coming? Does it look like me? It’s in the different points of view It’s in the feelings tied to you Have you been dreaming enough for two? Have I been changing enough for you? But in the same way that we’re older Does it fade? Does it grow slower? It’s a phase Nothing’s forever But I’m still finding the moments In the doubt In the unknowing In between In the unfolding When I said I need you I meant I always will Can you see forever? Can you feel it still? Does it slow from growing? Does it rush to speed? Can you hear it coming? Does it look like me? When you say forever Does it look like me? When you say forever Tell me what you see
9.
I wanna be wrapped in your shape I wanna be held in your arms And if you say that it’s changed Just know that I’ll rearrange for you I wanna fall deep in your ways I wanna wash under your waves And if it all falls away I’ll still be held in your shape I wanna be holed up with you I wanna be wrinkled as two And even if it’s a phase I’ll always be in your shape I wanna fall deep in your ways I wanna wash under your waves And when it all drifts away I’ll still be held in your shape
10.
Don't Leave 03:39
Don’t leave It’s my fault It’s my fault Haunt me Haunt me Don’t leave I’ll be I’ll be What you need Don’t leave Don’t leave Don’t leave

about

S. Raekwon, born Steven Raekwon Reynolds on July 10, 1995, is a singer/songwriter and producer from New York City by way of Buffalo, NY. His life so far has granted him the warm allure of someone well-acquainted with matters of the heart. He always finds the feeling even when the words evade him, every note handled with care. The S. Raekwon project finds Reynolds documenting traces of a life both affected and infatuated by the power of difference. Some differences define us, some memories bear too painful to share, but S. Raekwon symbolizes a surrender to the power of one’s intimacy, reframing his circumstances to earn his truth in terms both whimsical and hardened.

Reynolds’ journey began as a biracial Black boy in working-class Buffalo. He never met his father and grew up with a white mother who loved musical theatre and playing piano. He didn’t cut his teeth via a DIY scene, or in bands with neighbors and classmates; the isolation gave him space to channel his guarded nature into a freedom forged by the noises in his head. He gravitated towards guitar, finding wonder in solitary moments while weathering the tension of how his differences impacted his formative experiences. He learned early to keep his hands up in this world; music offered him an outlet to drop the guard, to listen and experiment with no proclivity towards the ordinary.

After graduating from Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Reynolds moved to the East Village in NYC, an area he’s been fascinated by since family trips as a teenager. In Spring 2018, as he worked a day job and sought connections with others, Reynolds wrote and tracked the first S. Raekwon demos in his dingy studio apartment. These first songs were a matter of necessity, an insatiable desire to externalize the internal fire of a life with many missing pieces. This moment of catharsis soon proved more fruitful than anticipated: rather than self-releasing, Reynolds shopped the demos around, leading to the release of his 2020 debut single Parts Towards Whole b/w A Crow’s Smile via Saddle Creek’s Document Series.

Where I’m at Now, released via Father/Daughter, is the product of two years of S. Raekwon tuning himself to the echoes surrounding his essence, past and present. In a first draft, Reynolds fashioned himself from the cloth of diaristic singer/songwriters before him, pouring himself across abstract soundscapes in an attempt to address the racial insecurities clouding his life’s experience. The album we have now finds Reynolds freeing himself of the expectation to package his struggle; he doesn’t waver from the search for meaning, but he’s also concerned with matters more sweet. This is a collection of moments from the purview of a late bloomer, pushing himself past the isolation that serves him to create, yet keeps him defensive when facing the world. It’s an album of love in all its forms: innocent, vulnerable, gentle, questionable.

Recorded between New York City and a six-month stint at his girlfriend’s parents’ home in Edwardsville, IL during the pandemic, Where I’m at Now is the album S. Raekwon made for himself with a clarity that arrived as he located his missing pieces in the world. Delicate as his approach may be, chaos truly underscored the two working years as Reynolds not only moved to lift the weight of the world off his spirit but connected with his roots. In a serendipitous turn of fate, Edwardsville was not only the same town Reynolds’ father once went to college but is also in close proximity to St. Louis where most of Reynolds’ Black family members are located. When he didn’t work on music, he protested against police violence in Missouri, and eventually reconnected with this family for the first time since his childhood. Upon leaving Edwardsville in September 2020, Reynolds quickly finished the rest of the album, charged by a new fire in his spirit and the light of his blood driving him towards a new beginning.

Where I’m at Now embodies several palpable shifts in the S. Raekwon project, and Reynolds as a man. Completely self-produced and self-recorded (save for drums on two songs,) the music’s driven by the relentlessness of the East Village and the quiet serenity of Edwardsville. The abstractions of his earlier musings transform into a warm wave of genreless coherence, drawing influences from across R&B, rock, folk, and pop to build a record that shines in its quiet spaces as much as its sweeping movements. Whether breakdown or ballad, S. Raekwon no longer hides in the codified cloaks of his metaphors and lends an honesty that grants passion and precision to the smallest details. He gives feeling to the pretty imperfections of our memories, be it the first kiss, the last touch, or the rage screaming within.

Simply put, Where I’m at Now is an album where S. Raekwon is no longer invested in hiding. These records don’t contain answers, but signals toward what feels like the right direction. The roaming child, painfully aware of his difference and eager to understand it, is now a man walking tall on the path to knowing himself. Through his journey - of Blackness, of love, of pain and perseverance - he grants us permission to walk tall all the same. This music serves as a gentle, yet intentional reminder that we only need to be who we are in the moment, and we’re worth becoming who we know we can be.

credits

released October 8, 2021

Written, produced, engineered & mixed by Steven Raekwon Reynolds
Mastered by Heba Kadry
All vocals and instruments performed by Steven Raekwon Reynolds
Additional live drums and percussion (tracks 2, 6) performed by Mario Malachi
Photos by Mario Malachi
Artwork design and layout by Ryan McKeever

Recorded July 2019-November 2020
In East Village, New York City and Edwardsville, Illinois

www.instagram.com/sraekwonmusic
twitter.com/sraekwonmusic
www.facebook.com/sraekwonmusic

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S. Raekwon New York, New York

S. Raekwon is a singer/songwriter and producer from New York City by way of Buffalo, NY.

Sophomore album, 'Steven' is out May 3, 2024.

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