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Where I'm at Now (Expanded Edition)

by S. Raekwon

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1.
Darling 03:01
I wanna be wrapped in your shape I wanna be held in your arms And if you say that it’s changed Just know that I’ll rearrange for you I wanna fall deep in your ways I wanna wash under your waves And if it all falls away I’ll still be held in your shape I wanna be holed up with you I wanna be wrinkled as two And even if it’s a phase I’ll always be in your shape I wanna fall deep in your ways I wanna wash under your waves And when it all drifts away I’ll still be held in your shape
2.
I just hope you the feel the same If you do I’m yours to take (I was yours to take) Cause I don’t know another way Got a whole lotta feelings now That I been thinking bout That I been holding down That I could live without So call me by a different name Cause lately it don’t sound the same But I don’t know another way To feel it now To hold it down My skin I’ll cut it open For every inch of you And there’d be no more hiding Can I confide in you? With all that we have been through There’s still so much to get through My skin I’ll cut it open For every inch of you And there’d be no more hiding Can I confide in you? With all that we have been through There’s still so much to get through Got a whole lotta feelings now That I been thinking bout That I been holding down That I could live without Got a whole lotta feelings now That I been thinking bout That I been holding down That I could live without Cause I just hope you the feel the same Yea I just hope you the feel the same My skin I’ll cut it open For every inch of you And there’d be no more hiding Can I confide in you? With all that we have been through There’s still so much to get through My skin I’ll cut it open For every inch of you And there’d be no more hiding Can I confide in you? With all that we have been through There’s still so much to get through
3.
When we were kissing Behind your house We were so young then We called it love then Under the weight of First time for everything We were so young then We called it love then Collecting change for the games we’d play And it’s house money And it was heartbreaking Way the days would break on me And I would break out in the worst way And I would stay in just to stay away Staying up late That’s good love making Another shot taking Is your heart racing? Mine is for the taking And if things could be different What would be the difference? You got me thinking Got me feeling different And now my head is spinning Man that shit hit different Windows up, baking Ye’s old mixtape got the car shaking Kissing in the driveway That’s the way it was Replay it in my head Is it really love? And if this shit for real Then what would make it real? Maybe I’m just tripping This will be gone in a minute But this shit still got me thinking Is it really love? Is it really love? When we were kissing Behind your house We were so young then We called it love then Under the weight of First time for everything We were so young then We called it love then We called it love then We called it love then We called it love then We called it love then (I wanna call it love) We called it love then We called it love then We called it love then We called it love then (I wanna call it love) Loving with you Loving with you Loving with you It’s all I wanna do
4.
Anywhere 4 U 02:46
Got a lotta things to say that’s on my mind And I don’t wanna waste no time with you Can I get permission now to speak my mind? And is that really where I’m at with you? Why you keep it all held up inside boy? Can’t you tell that your still on my mind? Why you keep it all held up inside? Yea It’s on my mind Yea But I’ll be fine Cause baby tell me where I stand with you Cause I be standing there I’ll go anywhere Know that we got lots of things to do Not even halfway there But know that I’ll be there For you Gotta get your Gotta get your Gotta get your mind right Know that I’ll go anywhere for you Gotta get your Gotta get your Gotta get your mind right You would hold it down on me for real Baby this ain’t nothing new Even when I’m feeling low you there And you be there for real So why you keep it all help up inside boy? (Can you be there for me? And can you hold it down?) Can’t you tell that you’re still on my mind? (Don’t you know that you’re still on my mind?) But why you keep all held up inside? Yea It’s on my mind Yea But I’ll be fine Cause baby tell me where I stand with you Cause I be standing there I’ll go anywhere Know that we got lots of things to do Not even halfway there But know that I’ll be there And every second counts when I’m with you Not even halfway there But know that I’ll be there And even in the toughest times with you I’ll be standing there I’ll go anywhere For you Gotta get your Gotta get your Gotta get your mind right Know that I’ll go anywhere for you Gotta get your Gotta get your Gotta get your mind right Know that I’ll go anywhere for you Gotta get your Gotta get your Gotta get your mind right Know that I’ll go anywhere for you Gotta get your Gotta get your Gotta get your mind right
5.
It’s no thing I can move on to something new I can move on it’s nothing new I can move on It’s no thing I can move on to something new I can move on it’s nothing new I can move on It’s no thing I can move on to something new I can move on it’s nothing new I can move on It’s no thing I can move on to something new I can move on it’s nothing new I can move on
6.
T.D.T.K.A. 04:00
It could’ve been me It’s not that we don’t look so far apart And we’re different shades of brown But honestly they’d see us both the same And I’m still here to think those thoughts away Hope this shit don’t stay the same Let’s not forget to pray And dance and sing and wish this shit away Hope to see another day Just long enough to see them put away I hope and pray that they don’t look away Hope this shit don’t stay the same It’s just another day But somehow my reality has made it such that I can stay away And choose to tune in and fade it away What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? Cause if we all the same How come some of us got to pray to stay alive? And if things gonna change Will we still have to pray to stay alive? Now I’m clenching my breath Wondering if I should speak up And just make a mess of all the pieces we’ve arranged Or should I tell you about the guilt that I’ve been feeling? I’m just so tired of this sad history repeating And more about that guilt Maybe I should have spoken out and raised my voice I feel responsible for it But then again I’m just a man And before then just a black boy tryna fit in Don’t get me started on the places I have been But still it doesn’t hold a light to where you’ve been And I’m so tired of constantly looking in But I just wanna feel comfortable in my skin I just wanna feel okay in my own skin Cause if we all the same How come some of us got to pray to stay alive? And if things gonna change Will we still have to pray to stay alive?
7.
When I feel your loving Showering like rain Climbing like a mountain And it’s all that remains When the party's over When I’ve lost my way When I don’t feel like dancing You still take me away And the way it moves Through your body to me Are you still fucking with me? The way you used to do? But don’t be playing with me Unless you been lucky lately It’s just a feeling baby It’s just what we’ re supposed to do
8.
Forever 02:47
When I said I need you I meant I always will Can you see forever? Can you feel it still? Does it slow from growing? Does it rush to speed? Can you hear it coming? Does it look like me? It’s in the different points of view It’s in the feelings tied to you Have you been dreaming enough for two? Have I been changing enough for you? But in the same way that we’re older Does it fade? Does it grow slower? It’s a phase Nothing’s forever But I’m still finding the moments In the doubt In the unknowing In between In the unfolding When I said I need you I meant I always will Can you see forever? Can you feel it still? Does it slow from growing? Does it rush to speed? Can you hear it coming? Does it look like me? When you say forever Does it look like me? When you say forever Tell me what you see When you say forever Does it look like me? When you say forever Tell me what you see When you say forever Does it look like me? When you say forever Tell me what you see
9.
I wanna be wrapped in your shape I wanna be held in your arms And if you say that it’s changed Just know that I’ll rearrange for you I wanna fall deep in your ways I wanna wash under your waves And if it all falls away I’ll still be held in your shape I wanna be holed up with you I wanna be wrinkled as two And even if it’s a phase I’ll always be in your shape I wanna fall deep in your ways I wanna wash under your waves And when it all drifts away I’ll still be held in your shape
10.
Don't Leave 03:38
Don’t leave It’s my fault It’s my fault Haunt me Haunt me Don’t leave I’ll be I’ll be What you need Don’t leave Don’t leave Don’t leave
11.
Back in third grade My teacher had the class create a gift for Father’s Day I made it for my momma instead Cause my momma was my father everyday I wasn’t sad till I dropped it on the floor And Paul who sat across from me Picked it up, and he read it and laughed And made me feel like less than I could be But I moved on Cause the love that she gave me Had to be more than the love that he had Gotten from both his mother and father combined And I don’t mean nothing by that Other than just to say just how great my mom was She was all that I had She was all that I needed And I’m glad that I was raised by a woman as strong as that When I was just a few months old My grandparents came down from Missouri It was the first time they met my mom And their son’s second baby They were there for a day And that’s all it took for my dad to get high Took the car and my mom’s credit card and he didn’t even say goodbye He was missing for days But it only took one for my grandparents to leave They dropped off some diapers, rebooked their flight and flew right back to Missouri And I didn’t seem them for another few years And I think them leaving so was wrong But my mother she stayed strong Got back on her feet despite all that was going on And shortly after that incident My mother kicked my dad out of the home And he chased us around for awhile But then he stopped and just left us alone My mother and I were a team And together we took on the world My mother’s love was enough That I didn’t feel anything missing in our home And with a mom like that How could I ever have time to miss my dad? Ya I grew up in a single parent home But with all of the love that I had You would’ve never known it then And you can’t measure love like that Cause my mother’s love was enough That I didn’t ever feel like I needed my dad Me and my mom would catch in the drive way for hours every day And she’d watch as I played basketball in the yard with a smile on her face And she learned all the rules of every sport that I wanted to play And left work early every time to see the start of every game Meanwhile my dad missed every day of my life growing up But that’s okay, in a way I’m glad Because god I love my mom just so much But just because I don’t miss him Doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard growing up Because being a black boy is hard And it’s made even harder without a dad to show you love But then again, I found my way And I did it all without my dad And I ain’t nothing special but my mom is She gave me all that love that she had She said son it’s a miracle we made it out alive from those early days I said it ain’t no miracle It’s jus tall of the love she gave And for that every Father’s Day to me is Mother’s Day And I’ve forgotten all about that incident back in the third grade At the time I was hurting so damn bad I thought I’d never be a man But my momma was also my father growing up And it was more than most kids will ever have
12.
It could’ve been me It’s not that we don’t look so far apart And we’re different shades of brown But honestly they’d see us both the same And I’m still here to think those thoughts away Hope this shit don’t stay the same Let’s not forget to pray And dance and sing and wish this shit away Hope to see another day Just long enough to see them put away I hope and pray that they don’t look away Hope this shit don’t stay the same It’s just another day But somehow my reality has made it such that I can stay away And choose to tune in and fade it away What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? What does that say about me? Cause if we all the same How come some of us got to pray to stay alive? And if things gonna change Will we still have to pray to stay alive? Now I’m clenching my breath Wondering if I should speak up And just make a mess of all the pieces we’ve arranged Or should I tell you about the guilt that I’ve been feeling? I’m just so tired of this sad history repeating And more about that guilt Maybe I should have spoken out and raised my voice I feel responsible for it But then again I’m just a man And before then just a black boy tryna fit in Don’t get me started on the places I have been But still it doesn’t hold a light to where he’s been And I’m so tired of constantly looking in But I just wanna feel comfortable in my skin I just wanna feel okay in my own skin Cause if we all the same How come some of us got to pray to stay alive? And if things gonna change Will we still have to pray to stay alive?
13.
Don’t leave It’s my fault It’s my fault Haunt me Haunt me Don’t leave I’ll be I’ll be What you need Don’t leave Don’t leave Don’t leave
14.
I wanna be wrapped in your shape I wanna be held in your arms And if you say that it’s changed Just know that I’ll rearrange for you I wanna fall deep in your ways I wanna wash under your waves And if it all falls away I’ll still be held in your shape I wanna be holed up with you I wanna be wrinkled as two And even if it’s a phase I’ll always be in your shape I wanna fall deep in your ways I wanna wash under your waves And if it all falls away I’ll still be held in your shape

about

In celebration of the one year anniversary of his stunning debut album, Where I’m at Now, the NYC-based singer/multi-instrumentalist S. Raekwon returns with an expanded edition featuring new versions of “T.D.T.K.A.”, “Darling (Reprise)”, “Don’t Leave”, and the lone single from earlier this year, “Single Mothers Day”. The first three songs were recorded live with just vocals and piano at the Honey Jar Studio in Brooklyn.

S. Raekwon strips things down and breathes new life into each song with his signature, velvet-like croon intact. There's a more pointed sense of vulnerability that comes through with the rawness and heartfelt energy of the vocal performances. It’s a beautiful way to capture the spirit of S. Raekwon’s musical past while still looking ahead to a brighter future.

credits

released October 7, 2022

Music & Lyrics by Steven Raekwon Reynolds
Tracks 1-10 mixed by Steven Raekwon Reynolds, mastered by Heba Kadry
“Single Mom’s Day” mixed by Steven Raekwon Reynolds, mastered by Carl Saff
Tracks 12-14 engineered & mixed by Julian Fader at The Honey Jar (Brooklyn, NY), mastered by Carl Saff
Cover design by Ryan McKeever (ryanmckeeverdesign.com)
Photo by Mario Malachi

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S. Raekwon New York, New York

S. Raekwon is a singer/songwriter and producer from New York City by way of Buffalo, NY.

Sophomore album, 'Steven' is out May 3, 2024.

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